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The Tattler - Daytona '14

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smokieonefour

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Post Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:42 am

The Tattler - Daytona '14

Well Race Fans ... I "think" we're back. Not really sure tho. NASCAR tried real HARD to run us off ... and we had to go deep off the grid, in order to continue to bring you SHR fans - the REAL racing news! - but we're back for now. Herbs is still off the grid... but I hope the little beer & doobie trail I left for him works...cross your fingers folks! I introduce to you Smoke14TS and a new mystery writer, as new inmates...er, um, uh .... I mean reporters ...
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Well Race Fans, we waited and waited ... and got a race, almost as long as the wait!
Officially 10 hours and 20 minutes. Dang, that was a long one!

Apparently there is NO truth to the rumor, that NASCAR calling it a " 5 " hour delay, is tied into any "5 Hour Energy Drink" promotion.

Squashing more rumors, Mel tells us, in chat, that Kasey Kahne got another speeding ticket in the 2nd big crash.... WTH? < Not true .... ;-)

"Austin Dillon - NASCAR's newest Human Pin Ball!"
"Son, I'm gonna need you to bring in some excitement & ratings ... so don't worry about the car, I got that covered ... you just go out there and do that voo doo, that you do, so well."

I'm sure if Herbie was here, he would have something to say about Kyle going over the Start / Finish Line backwards... just like big brother... but alas... I leave that open for Herbs... if he can hear me out there... Herbs! Report back! LOL

Sorry Tony, about your 'fuel cell pick up' problem... never thought I'd hear you & "pick up a problem" in the same sentence ... but hey, that's NASCAR for ya. ;-)

Gotta give My Girl props for 2 laps lead and taking one bad hit...
Seems PETTY, I know... but right the F on, anyway :-)


... And fresh off of suicide watch after ANOTHER Tony Stewart Daytona 500 loss ... here is Smoke14TS with his top-10 headlines from the Daytona 500 ........
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Who said anything about being off? **twirls noose** But I digress -


Bowyer's engine, recalling Thursday's spill, sees wild racing and declares "Oh #### no"

Some fans, Stewart's fuel system, leave Daytona early

Dillon emerges from 31 hauler with cowboy hat shoved down throat after wreck with Newman

Waltrip declares Danica wreck worst ever, the rattles off 15 of his own that top it

Ryan Truex seen giving older brother Martin the "neener-neener" look after contender's engine expires early

Earnhardt wins Daytona 500, double-wides turned over and set ablaze in celebration

"I was riding along and my bacon got cooked:" Almirola innocent victim in Daytona 500 melee

Fan using left-over bass boat from Darrell Gwynn event finishes 15th in Daytona 500

After finishing second without aid of radio, Hamlin fires spotter, hires self.

Edwards swarmed after race by drivers looking for Aflac policies following rookies' issues in Speedweeks

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And now a few words from our Mystery Writer....

Thanks Smokie! Just wanted to let you folks know my piece is being sponsored by Bare Werks -

"We go where we want to go - even to first place "


Lap 2 Kyle Larson experiences his first success from the advise of Juan Pablo Montoya.

Lap 3 The Dillon Prince crosses the finish line watching the fans holding up 3 Fingers, and thinks they are telling him he is in THIRD Place.

Truex blows a motor, he wonders if his Crew Chief listened to Michael Waltrips guidance about running Jet Fuel in his intake manifold.

Smoke gets tanked, then gets a tank.

Race is all but over and Danica gets punted, and nails the wall hard. Then in a stroke of brilliance, she nails the 43 (Almirola) straight to the Nose…. Take that…!!! King Richard.. ;-D

Dillon, still running, hears PawPaw’s voice in his head and takes out his teammate, Ryan Newman.

When Dillon returns to the pits he is informed that he has not yet taken out either the starters stand or the Pace Car…. Dillon’s new nickname is Pinball Boy.

And just when you think you’ve seen it all…. Junior picks up debris during a caution.
The Junior fans are now committing Hari Kari in the stands……

Junior played his cards rather well, and won this one.
Congratulations to Dale Earnhardt Junior…. Well played Jr.

Back in the pits, Dillon is still driving around looking for the Pace Car….

Still in the pits, Michael Waltrip is searching around asking everybody he sees, if they have seen fiddy cent….
Seems he is determined to get his kiss, come He11 or highwater.

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Be Good!
But if you can't, be careful ...or just really good at being bad ;-)
Last edited by smokieonefour on Fri Mar 07, 2014 3:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
Smoke 'em if ya got 'em!

Sh*t happens... but don't worry, it usually happens to me.
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Schmoopy1000

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Post Thu Feb 27, 2014 4:11 am

Re: The Tattler - Daytona '14

Waltrip declares Danica wreck worst ever, then rattles off 15 of his own that top it

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Dillon, still running, hears PawPaw’s voice in his head and takes out his teammate, Ryan Newman.

Well Dillon showed his rookie status not being capable of flipping Ryan like the veterans. :mrgreen:
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tlmerk

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Post Thu Feb 27, 2014 10:30 pm

Re: The Tattler - Daytona '14

YEAH!! SO GLAD to see the return of the TATTLER!!


After finishing second without aid of radio, Hamlin fires spotter, hires self.... TOOOOO Funeee!
Where there's Smoke, there's fire!
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jsw14

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Post Fri Feb 28, 2014 9:56 am

Re: The Tattler - Daytona '14

:D The Tattler is allways TOPS in my book :D Great work guy's 8-) 8-) :lol:
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j knocks on Herbs front door.........Hmmm, nobody home :roll: j leaves a case of Schiltz at Herbs front door.....maybe this will wake him up :lol: :lol: :lol:
BS & Brilliance only come with Age & Experience!!
Image "Fight For Four" - Annalee, March 27, 2012
Image "STAND UP FOR TONY & SHR"
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jdpirate

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Post Fri Feb 28, 2014 10:22 am

Re: The Tattler - Daytona '14

Too funny....
I'm Living my life the way I want to..... Tony Stewart
Never Quit..... Marcus Luttrell Lone Survivor
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Keener29

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Post Fri Feb 28, 2014 11:40 am

Re: The Tattler - Daytona '14

Good stuff.
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Annalee

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Post Fri Feb 28, 2014 12:08 pm

Re: The Tattler - Daytona '14

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"Fight for Four".......................me

I #Support Smoke
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14Smokem

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Post Fri Feb 28, 2014 2:17 pm

Re: The Tattler - Daytona '14

Way too funny....

My favorite line was


Dillon emerges from 31 hauler with cowboy hat shoved down throat after wreck with Newman.

Great stuff......... Keep it up.
1994 USAC Midget Champion ** 1995 USAC Midget Champion ** 1995 USAC Sprint Car Champion ** 1995 USAC Silver Crown Champion
1997 Indy Car Champion ** 2006 IROC Champion ** 2002 NASCAR Champion ** 2005 NASCAR Champion ** 2011 NASCAR Champion
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Schmoopy1000

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Post Fri Feb 28, 2014 3:45 pm

Re: The Tattler - Daytona '14

is the tattler on a website?
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onerockindoc

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Post Fri Feb 28, 2014 4:50 pm

Re: The Tattler - Daytona '14

Yes Schmoop, the tattler is on a website. THIS ONE! Our illustrious team of roaming whacky reporters weigh in each week on the race and the state of our beloved sport.

In the old days of SHR the tattler was the thing everyone looked forward to reading post race. Long live the Tattler!
Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement
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smokieonefour

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Post Fri Feb 28, 2014 6:01 pm

Re: The Tattler - Daytona '14

Awww... thanks everyone :-)

Our mission statement is to make you laugh :-)


The Tatt can not be read anywhere but here ... so far. I MAY start a FB page ( Thank you Schmoopy for the idea! ) and see if SHR and Animink will let me tie into / advertise / etc. If I can do this - I'll try and re-post all the past editions. :-)

We started this in '09 ( for the new members ) and run every year. Anyone is more than welcome to add their own funny's - participate - join or just enjoy. :-)

Thanks everyone! :-)
Smoke 'em if ya got 'em!

Sh*t happens... but don't worry, it usually happens to me.
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jsw14

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Post Fri Feb 28, 2014 9:46 pm

Re: The Tattler - Daytona '14

Smokie, The Tattler is to Good to let it go by the way-side. We need this kind of Humor in Nascar today.
Who knows, U just might find yourself step'in in the right door & makin good money at it. It has happend to ppl many times before. Why not U? SHR knows that U have the skill's :mrgreen:

U GO GIRL
BS & Brilliance only come with Age & Experience!!
Image "Fight For Four" - Annalee, March 27, 2012
Image "STAND UP FOR TONY & SHR"
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Schmoopy1000

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Post Sat Mar 01, 2014 12:14 am

Re: The Tattler - Daytona '14

smokieonefour wrote:Awww... thanks everyone :-)

Our mission statement is to make you laugh :-)


The Tatt can not be read anywhere but here ... so far. I MAY start a FB page ( Thank you Schmoopy for the idea! ) and see if SHR and Animink will let me tie into / advertise / etc. If I can do this - I'll try and re-post all the past editions. :-)

We started this in '09 ( for the new members ) and run every year. Anyone is more than welcome to add their own funny's - participate - join or just enjoy. :-)

Thanks everyone! :-)
why do you hate me so much? You put it on Facebook knowing I am not on Facebook.
That's not right!!! Image Image
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smokieonefour

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Post Sat Mar 01, 2014 12:43 am

Re: The Tattler - Daytona '14

ha ha ha! Schmoop! You know I love ya like a brotha :-)

maybe I can get a Go-Daddy website? ;-)
Smoke 'em if ya got 'em!

Sh*t happens... but don't worry, it usually happens to me.
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smokieonefour

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Post Sat Mar 01, 2014 12:45 am

Re: The Tattler - Daytona '14

jsw14 wrote:Smokie, The Tattler is to Good to let it go by the way-side. We need this kind of Humor in Nascar today.
Who knows, U just might find yourself step'in in the right door & makin good money at it. It has happend to ppl many times before. Why not U? SHR knows that U have the skill's :mrgreen:

U GO GIRL


Aww J... I loves you man! :-) and thank you for your nice words. :-) I just do this for fun. :-)

Hey maybe I can apply for SHR Court Jester? SHR Comedian? Do a lil routine to get em all laughing before a race? ?
Smoke 'em if ya got 'em!

Sh*t happens... but don't worry, it usually happens to me.
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