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For JSW and HH

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awsum14

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Post Thu Dec 19, 2013 7:27 pm

For JSW and HH

This was sent to me today and thought I would share:

The Florida Code

When giving directions in Florida, you must always start with the words, "take I-75, "take I-4 "or "take I-95."

When crossing the border into Florida, forget all driving rules you ever knew.

If you're a snowbird or a non-working retiree, you absolutely cannot drive between the hours of 6 A.M. To 10 A.M. And 4 P.M. To 7 P.M. This is considered to be RUSH HOUR and you are not in any rush. NO EXCEPTIONS. But you will drive anyway.

Freeways can only go north and south . . . Not east and west except Alligator Alley.

Tolls are a fact of life, the state has to make money, so deal with it!

I-275 ( Tampa area) will always be under construction ... that's the law and there is nothing anyone can do about it, period!

'A1A' and 'Alt. A1A' are the same road.

Traffic lights are not timed and never will be.

We measure the distance we travel in time - not miles.

If you travel more than 5-10 miles on any road in any part of Florida without seeing an orange barricade, you're lost!

If you miss your exit on I-75, I-4 or I-275, its perfectly acceptable to back up!


Every street in Florida has both a name and a number (I.e. Adamo = Rt. 60) just for the heck of it -- and also for the pleasure we get from reaction of visitors when we give them directions.

Once the light turns green, only 3 cars can go through the intersection, eight more go through on yellow, and 4 more on red.

Know the difference between SunPass, Sun Fest, Sun-Sentinel and Sun Trust.

Flip flops, tank tops and baggy shorts are also known as business casual . Plaids and stripes of different colors at the same time are the norm.

Your car's signal blinker means nothing. It will be left on at all times.


English is our first and second language.

It is perfectly acceptable to brag about the size of your emergency generator.

We have alligators here in Florida and they WILL bite you. Don't be stupid and try to feed or pet one.

When a hurricane is headed our way, even though you have advance warning and you are told to be prepared, you're not a true Floridian unless you wait until the absolute last minute to go to Home Depot to pick up plywood or to Publix to stock up on water, ice and potato chips.

You know how to spell Okeechobee. There is an Okeechobee Lake, Town, County, Blvd, Street, and Avenue.

A true Floridian does NOT own a boat. They make friends with someone who already owns one. That way you don't have to deal with any of the headaches.

You weren't born here. If you were, you're angry that anyone else has moved here.


There's always a Walgreens across the street from a CVS on nearly every corner - with more being built every day.

When picking up a woman on South Beach, always check for an Adams apple.

Its normal to sweat when you are putting up your holiday decorations.

In south Florida the four seasons are summer.

There is a city called 'The Villages' where 87,000 old people live that all drive golf carts and dance in the streets. 50% of these people are swingers; the rest just got too old to care about it.

Jupiter is a city, not a planet.

Seniors have to do their errands during the weekdays . . Not weeknights or weekends . . that's for the working folks.

There are three types of dolphins: Mahi-mahi, Flipper and also a football team.

You can't say; 'this is how we did it up north'. If you think that way, then go back up north. Just remember, I-95 and I-75 run both ways.

No matter what they decide in Tallahassee you will never, ever be able to figure out your property taxes.


Learn how to dress in layers. It will be 95 degrees outside. But inside any restaurant or business it's 65 degrees.

With the slightest hint of a hurricane your house insurance will be cancelled.

The biggest Asian pythons are in the Everglades.

You want to live on a lake? Dig a hole.


Early bird dinner starts at 4 but be there at 3. Have plastic bags in your purse or pocket for the packets of sugar, Splenda, etc.

True Floridians rarely go to the local beach except Miami. These are recognized by the tobacco-colored leather skin.

Don't think of going to Boca unless you are wearing at least once piece of gold lamé.


Always be observant of cars backing through store windows or into canals and swimming pools.

Note that most cars are driven by headless drivers. When seen, there is always white hair and over-sized, black wrap-around sunglasses.

This would be even funnier if it weren't so true.

You forgot about the cars with the New Jersey license plates. They have backwards turn signals. When the right signal is on, be prepared for a left turn (and vice versa)
If at first you don't succeed, don't give up
Try Harder
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jsw14

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Post Thu Dec 19, 2013 8:16 pm

Re: For JSW and HH

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: LMAO :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
That is so True A :lol: :lol: BTW there are over 100,000 Old Folk's now in The Villages. I gave-up my dance'in days, now I only swing on the golf course :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :mrgreen:
BS & Brilliance only come with Age & Experience!!
Image "Fight For Four" - Annalee, March 27, 2012
Image "STAND UP FOR TONY & SHR"
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HiddenHollow

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Post Fri Dec 20, 2013 11:10 am

Re: For JSW and HH

That all seems normal to me. What's your point......................?










:mrgreen: ;) :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:









I was born & raised in CT. Like many others, I got fed up with the snow & cold when I was in my early 30's. I have now lived & worked in FL longer than I lived & worked in CT, so this is "home." I didn't wait until I was retired to move here (like some people I know ;) ). Maybe that's why all those statements seem normal to me. I've been back to CT a few times, but the place no longer holds any interest for me.
"I'll wreck my mom to win a championship. I'll wreck your mom to win a championship." - Tony Stewart, November 17, 2011

"Fight For Four" - Annalee, March 27, 2012

*****Countdown to the 2015 Daytona 500*****
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jsw14

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Post Fri Dec 20, 2013 12:10 pm

Re: For JSW and HH

Hmmm, where do I start, I was born in Michigan, Have lived in Tampa Fl for a year, moved to Tulsa OK for four years, lived in south Phoenix Az for four years, moved too Oakland Cal for two years, back to Michigan for eight years or better, ended up 50mi south of Nashville Tn for 18 years & retired with 30 years from GM :) Moved to The Villages Flori-Duh in 2011 too rest in the sunshine :D I tell the wife this is the Last Stop on the Bus for us :lol: :lol: We R not snowbirds, were FROG's, were here in Flori-Duh tell we croke :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :mrgreen:
BS & Brilliance only come with Age & Experience!!
Image "Fight For Four" - Annalee, March 27, 2012
Image "STAND UP FOR TONY & SHR"
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Annalee

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Post Fri Dec 20, 2013 12:46 pm

Re: For JSW and HH

I know this was for Jsw and HH, but I have never laughed so hard in a long time........I have you both beat on moves..combine yours and add a few! My nephew graduated from Embry Riddle and he concurs with Awsums list.....he now lives in Boston :lol:
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"Fight for Four".......................me
I # Support Smoke
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smokieonefour

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Post Fri Dec 20, 2013 5:01 pm

Re: For JSW and HH

That was pretty funny!

LMAO at the mention of "The Villages" ( JSW ) :-D


Inspires me to write a California Code .... ;-)
Smoke 'em if ya got 'em!

Sh*t happens... but don't worry, it usually happens to me.
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onerockindoc

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Post Fri Dec 20, 2013 5:51 pm

Re: For JSW and HH

Thanks for the funny

My BFF moved from Texas to Florida last year. She was having her oil changed at a car place and this older guy was flirting with her....he asked her 2 thing...did she play golf and could she drive at night! We still laugh at this.
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
Bob Marley
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jsw14

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Post Fri Dec 20, 2013 6:23 pm

Re: For JSW and HH

smokieonefour wrote:That was pretty funny!

LMAO at the mention of "The Villages" ( JSW ) :-D


Inspires me to write a California Code .... ;-)


I'll help ya Smokie with Code #1>>If you R drivein on the LA Freeway, keep-up with traffic, Eggnor ALL speed limit signs, or U will get run over :shock: :shock: Hmmm, no wonder JJ is so fast on the track :roll: :roll:
BS & Brilliance only come with Age & Experience!!
Image "Fight For Four" - Annalee, March 27, 2012
Image "STAND UP FOR TONY & SHR"
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smokieonefour

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Post Sun Dec 22, 2013 7:15 pm

Re: For JSW and HH

jsw14 wrote:
smokieonefour wrote:That was pretty funny!

LMAO at the mention of "The Villages" ( JSW ) :-D


Inspires me to write a California Code .... ;-)


I'll help ya Smokie with Code #1>>If you R drivein on the LA Freeway, keep-up with traffic, Eggnor ALL speed limit signs, or U will get run over :shock: :shock: Hmmm, no wonder JJ is so fast on the track :roll: :roll:


OAKTOWN ! ! ( woot woot ) Fist pump.... LOL

Rule #2 - "The road belongs to you and you alone. Everyone else is trespassing ... treat them, as such." ;-)

Rule #3 - There is no lane dedicated to simply driving. If you are not eating & drinking, talking on a phone, texting, adjusting your kids DVR in the back, checking your GPS or taking a picture ... please merge in with them." ;-)
Smoke 'em if ya got 'em!

Sh*t happens... but don't worry, it usually happens to me.
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jsw14

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Post Sun Dec 22, 2013 9:07 pm

Re: For JSW and HH

smokieonefour wrote:
jsw14 wrote:
smokieonefour wrote:That was pretty funny!

LMAO at the mention of "The Villages" ( JSW ) :-D


Inspires me to write a California Code .... ;-)


I'll help ya Smokie with Code #1>>If you R drivein on the LA Freeway, keep-up with traffic, Eggnor ALL speed limit signs, or U will get run over :shock: :shock: Hmmm, no wonder JJ is so fast on the track :roll: :roll:


OAKTOWN ! ! ( woot woot ) Fist pump.... LOL

Rule #2 - "The road belongs to you and you alone. Everyone else is trespassing ... treat them, as such." ;-)

Rule #3 - There is no lane dedicated to simply driving. If you are not eating & drinking, talking on a phone, texting, adjusting your kids DVR in the back, checking your GPS or taking a picture ... please merge in with them." ;-)


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: I hear ya Smokie :lol:
Rule #4 - "Smoke-em if ya Got-em", It will ease the Pain :lol: :lol: :lol: ;)
BS & Brilliance only come with Age & Experience!!
Image "Fight For Four" - Annalee, March 27, 2012
Image "STAND UP FOR TONY & SHR"
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smokieonefour

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Post Mon Dec 23, 2013 4:51 pm

Re: For JSW and HH

Me like Rule #4 .... :-)

Should be Rule #420 tho.... ;-)
Smoke 'em if ya got 'em!

Sh*t happens... but don't worry, it usually happens to me.
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jsw14

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Post Mon Dec 23, 2013 7:00 pm

Re: For JSW and HH

smokieonefour wrote:Me like Rule #4 .... :-)

Should be Rule #420 tho.... ;-)


Sheeeesh Smokie, R U write'in a Encyclopedia on Road Rage for every State in the U.S.A.?? :roll: :roll: :roll: :lol: :lol: :lol: ;)
BS & Brilliance only come with Age & Experience!!
Image "Fight For Four" - Annalee, March 27, 2012
Image "STAND UP FOR TONY & SHR"
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ndunn

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Post Tue Dec 24, 2013 2:51 pm

Re: For JSW and HH

jsw14 wrote:
smokieonefour wrote:That was pretty funny!

LMAO at the mention of "The Villages" ( JSW ) :-D


Inspires me to write a California Code .... ;-)


I'll help ya Smokie with Code #1>>If you R drivein on the LA Freeway, keep-up with traffic, Eggnor ALL speed limit signs, or U will get run over :shock: :shock: Hmmm, no wonder JJ is so fast on the track :roll: :roll:

This is the exact way it is in L.A. When we drove the highways I had to chew at least 2 sticks of gum so I had something to think about besides wrecking. People will drive at 80 or above and then slam on their brakes for no reason. Thank goodness my husband had driven there before so he knew how things went. I'm not fond of Atlanta either especially at rush hour.Best thing there is to follow a semi as no one will cut you off or they will hit the truck.
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HiddenHollow

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Post Tue Dec 24, 2013 3:01 pm

Re: For JSW and HH

Atlanta is awful. When we drive to and from Indiana, we always plan to drive thru Atlanta on a Saturday or Sunday. Of course, that's when they do their road construction and lane closures. :?
"I'll wreck my mom to win a championship. I'll wreck your mom to win a championship." - Tony Stewart, November 17, 2011

"Fight For Four" - Annalee, March 27, 2012

*****Countdown to the 2015 Daytona 500*****
Image
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smokieonefour

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Post Tue Dec 24, 2013 3:55 pm

Re: For JSW and HH

Ha ha ha ha JSW! Dude, you kill me! :-) :-)

It's not rule #420 .... it's code for ... um... uh... "medicinal medicine." ;-)


NDunn ... that's because they ALL believe in rule #2 ;-)

"The road belongs to you and you alone. Everyone else is trespassing ... treat them, as such." ;-)
Smoke 'em if ya got 'em!

Sh*t happens... but don't worry, it usually happens to me.
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