Sun Mar 17, 2013 10:14 am by thorman52
An a Happy St. Patty Day to you and yours. A little (very little) car humor for the Irish.
Patty McGuire and Sean McDougal are involved in a horrific collision, but amazingly both escape completely unhurt - though their cars are written off.
As they crawl out of the wreckage, Sean sees Patty is blonde and strikingly beautiful.
Patty turns to Sean and gushes breathily: 'That's incredible - both our cars are demolished but we're fine. Tis’ a sign from God that we are meant to be together!'
‘Aye, I agree with you completely!' Sean says.
Patty adds, ‘Look ere, though me car was destroyed, this bottle of wine survived! It must be another sign. We’ll drink to our love!'
'Well, OK!' Sean says as Patty offers him the bottle, so he downs half of it and hands it back. 'Your turn,' he says.
Patty says, 'No, thanks,', 'I think I'll just wait for the police.'
And some Irish ingenuity.
A construction site boss was interviewing men for a job, when along came Murphy. The boss thought, "I'm not hiring that lazy Mick..." so he decided to set a test for Murphy hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions, and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument.
The first question was, Without using numbers, represent the number 9. Murphy says, "Dats easy" and proceeds to draw three trees. The boss says, "What the #### is that?" Murphy says "Tree 'n tree n' tree makes nine". Fair enough, says the boss.
Second question, same rules, but represent 99. Murphy stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree. "Der ya go sir" he says. The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" Murphy says, "each tree's dirty now! So it's dirty tree, n' dirty tree n' dirty tree, dats 99."
The boss is getting worried he's going to have to hire him, so he says, "All right, question three. Same rules again, but represent the number 100". Murphy stares into space again, then he shouts, "I got it!" he makes a little mark at the base of each tree, and says, "There ya go sir. 100." The boss looks at Murphy's attempt and thinks, Ha! Got him this time. "Go on Murphy, you must be crazy if you think that represents a hundred."
Murphy leans forward and points to the marks at the tree bases, and says, "A little dog comes along and craps by each tree, so now ya got, dirty tree an' a turd, dirty tree an' a turd, and dirty tree an' a turd, which makes a hundred, when do I start my job?"
Now on to Bristol!
“The more I see, the less I know for sure.”
― John Lennon