10-He spends more time in the hauler watching"Judge Judy"than working on the car.
9-Refuses to let you enter pit road until you ask "Mother May I".
8-You've run half the season with the same car.
7-His only win came in the annual Lake Norman Karaorke Contest.
6-Attends divers meetings only for the autograph opportunties.
5-To curb expenses, he suggests using three pit crewman and three cardboard cutouts.
4-His business card lists his occupation as Dr. of Crewchiefolgy.
3-Orders all in-race commuications to be done via Twitter.
2-His game plan for race weekend? Start and park----for quailfying
1-Ask him for the perfect setup and he gives you a soda and a cup of ice.