By Bob PockrassThursday, December 29, 2011
Just what did Tony Stewart say about his chances to win the 2011 Sprint Cup title?
Drivers say the darndest things. Sometimes in the heat of the moment. Sometimes when it’s not. For some reason the microphone invites a biting word or sarcastic wit.
In 2011, drivers weren’t afraid to deliver the zingers.
We have some of the best here.
Best quote that was worst prediction:
“No [I’m not a favorite] – are you [expletive] me? … I will declare I am a total bumbling idiot [if I win].”
–Tony Stewart on omitting his name from a list of Chase favorites.
Best quotes on Kyle Busch:
“Kyle Busch is going to get his #### whipped shortly I hope. He better sit his #### in his motor home or I’m going to come find him and he’s going to have to hold my watch because I’m going to whip his ####. He’s the biggest whining little piece of [expletive] I’ve ever seen in my whole life.”
–Kevin Harvick on his in-car radio after Busch wrecked Ron Hornaday
“If NASCAR doesn't [suspend him], I'm going to buy Tommy Baldwin's [Cup] ride and that guy will never finish another race. That's a promise. … Let’s have at it? I can go beat his ####? He lives too close to me. So we'll see what NASCAR does. If they don't handle it right, I'll be at his house Monday morning."
–Ron Hornaday after Busch wrecked him
Best quotes in response to Harvick by Kyle Busch:
"As far as us getting along, I'm not sure that we ever really did. I think [Harvick] tried and that's why at Homestead I kind of talked about the two faces of Kevin Harvick. I still believe that's out there. He'll talk to you to your face like your best friends, but then behind closed doors or at home or whatever, he has the utmost disrespectful thoughts or whatever else. That's all. I don't care. I'm going on with my own business."
–Busch a week after the Richmond incident
“Seemed like [Harvick] was trying to make it awfully difficult on me. There's a couple times where I just had to back off and wait, got back to him and tried to pass him again. Maybe kind of shows his character and who he is, how he feels he needs to race on the race track. But it's not my fight. He's trying to turn it into one."
–Busch after Pocono
Best dig on a competitor:
"My crew chief Paul Wolfe, he lives off of Perth Road, so maybe he found some secrets there."
-Brad Keselowski on where he found his speed to win the pole at Charlotte a few days after Kyle Busch was stopped on Perth Road for going 128 mph.
Best quote by a part-timer:
“He’s the most unprofessional little scaredy cat I’ve ever seen in my life. He wouldn’t even fight me like a man ... so if somebody texts me his address, I’ll go see him Wednesday at his house and show him what he really needs. He needs a freakin’ whooping, and I’m going to give it to him. … He'll show up at a race with a black eye one of these days.”
–Boris Said after incident with Greg Biffle
Best quote to describe a celebration:
“If we can just pick our heads up off the floor without throwing up, I'm going to be extremely happy.”
–Tony Stewart after winning the championship
Best warning to another driver:
“The last incident, if I could do that over again, I probably wouldn’t – not because I don’t plan on wrecking him but just because he was already damaged and it didn’t serve much purpose. … I probably wish I could save it for another time and will save it for another time.”
–Brian Vickers on Matt Kenseth after Martinsville
Best warning to all drivers:
“It doesn’t matter who it is. I’ll make sure that when I do it the next time that the guy doesn’t have the opportunity to come back and wreck me. … It is what it is, and there’s 42 guys out there and they know how I race, they know what I expect and I don’t race them that way, I don’t block guys and I’m not going to block guys. But if they block me, they will suffer the consequences.”
Best quotes of champions ripping on each other:
“He’s pretty much a smartass and wants to run his mouth so I had to go over there and say something.”
–Five-time champion Jimmie Johnson on Kurt Busch
“If a five-time champion doesn’t know how to race, forgive me. I was racing hard.”
–One-time champion Kurt Busch on Johnson
Best response to actions by another competitor:
“Only girls pull hair.”
–Steve Wallace after he had his hair pulled by Pastrana Waltrip Racing crew chief Jerry Baxter
Best quote about Juan Pablo Montoya:
“You can’t race around the jackass. You never can. Anybody in this sport knows what you’re up against when the No. 42 [of Montoya] comes up. He dive-bombs the starts and bullies his way up in there and before you know it, he’s in the way and wrecking with somebody. And, unfortunately, I was the victim this week.”
Best quote summing up frustration outside the car:
“I’d like to do it live, too, [expletive] 10 minutes ago.”
–Kurt Busch to ESPN reporter Jerry Punch while waiting to do an interview after his transmission broke
Best quote summing up frustration inside the car:
“We look like a monkey [expletive] a football. The [expletive] Penske [cars] are a [expletive] joke. [Expletive] everybody.”
–Kurt Busch at Richmond in April
Best quotes from Trevor Bayne:
“Are you kidding me?”
–Bayne after he won the Daytona 500
“I could still be sitting in the hospital with a patch on my eye and be seeing two of you.”
–Bayne on the bright side of returning to the track after suffering from double vision
Best quote of defiance:
“We offered the exchange of tickets, but a cash refund? We will not. We don’t want to.”
–Bruton Smith when asked if he would give refunds to those stuck in traffic, missing the inaugural Cup race at Kentucky Speedway
Best track operator rivalry quotes:
“It is bad enough the race track went into the weekend knowing traffic was going to be worse than they had previously had with other series. But to think Bruton Smith made light of it with the media, and then pointed the finger at the State of Kentucky when posed with traffic questions is unfathomable.”
–Michigan International Raceway President Roger Curtis after the Kentucky debacle
“I was born on a farm and we had a jackass that got away from us, he was young, frisky, and I remember my dad saying, ‘That was the sorriest jackass I ever had.’ He got away and we never did recover him. I understand he has popped up in Michigan somewhere.”
–Bruton Smith in response to Curtis
Best way to start off with controversy – the prerace prayer:
“Lord, I want to thank you for my smokin’ hot wife tonight. … In Jesus’ name, boogity, boogity, boogity, amen.”
–Pastor Joe Nelms at Nashville
And, finally, the best by and about Dale Earnhardt Jr.:
“What kind of move can you make? What kind of freakin’ move can you make racing like this? There ain’t no move you can make. You just hold it on the mat and try not to wreck into each other, and you see how good we are at that. … It was a foolish freakin’ race.”
–Dale Earnhardt Jr. after the July race at Daytona
“You guys need to get your own freakin’ opinions and write what y’all think about it because I think it’s pretty #### close to mine. I’m going to stop putting my #### foot in my mouth with y’all and getting my #### in trouble. Y’all write what y’all think."
–Earnhardt Jr. after Daytona
“Someone I talked to who covered auto racing for a lot of years said she believed there was a 60 percent chance that Junior qualified with a car not quite up to code and people looked the other way because there’s no points involved [with the pole].”
–Tony Kornheiser on “Pardon the Interruption”
“Those two guys that do that show don’t know much about racing so it doesn’t really bother me.”
–Earnhardt Jr. responds to Kornheiser comment
“I’m enjoying my relationship but I’m in no way ready to be married.”
–Earnhardt Jr. on his relationship “status"
“It’s no pressure. I don’t care to run the all-star race one way or the other. If I’m in it, I’m in it. If not, I’ll go home and drink some beer and be fine.”
–Earnhardt Jr. on trying to get in the all-star race
“It’s real easy to say that on the Internet. On the Internet it’s easy to say a lot of things. Everybody knows how I race. I try to race respectful and I want the same in return. … I don’t take out drivers or wreck people on purpose.”
–Earnhardt Jr. on why he didn’t wreck Kevin Harvick to win at Martinsville
“After [my father’s death] happened, I wanted to never see another race track or another race car again. We went to Rockingham and I went because I felt responsible to go. I didn’t want to be there. After about a week, I got to thinking, ‘What else am I going to do?’ My dad gave me this opportunity and I would be a fool to squander it.”
–Earnhardt Jr. on the 10th anniversary of his father’s death