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The Tattler - Martinsville

Fri Apr 08, 2011 12:24 am

CONGRATS to Tony and Team for fixing things, so y'all could have a 34th place finish, versus a dreaded "DNF" :-)

CONGRATS to Ryan and Team for a 20th place finish. :-)

Rumors are abounding that Jimmie WAS in fact fined, for making statements. Apparently, Jimmie burst into the media center, claiming he'd been "manhandled". Various team members tried to shut him up, before he was whisked away, followed by reporters....and his expression never changed....

AFLAC... it's that insurance you get, when you can't win a race... or get fired (G. Godfried ) that helps you pay those pesky household bills....

Kevin Harvick recently inherited the nick name "The Closer" from various media people.
I say... if he has to struggle to beat Jr... he needs to turn in that nick name.....

Chat room chatter -

Smokeshow14 - "I really don't want Tony to be this years' Jeff Gordon"

Mel _Chick - "You know you're in trouble when Jr is ahead of you"

Now, over to Herb's....

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Thanks Smokie! This is Herbie the half drunk reporter checking in with these top headlines.....................................................................

Well it seems that Kevin Harvick has found the golden horseshoe. Rumor has it that he found it at a Lowes store in Southern California...........................

In other racing news, Donald Trump has been named as the driver of the pace car for the Indianapolis 500. He has also purchased the rights to change the name of the race to the Comb-over 500..............................................

On a related note, IRL officials have warned Mr. Trump that they will not tolerate the firing of any drivers or officials....................................

And now for this weeks Herbie Awards, sponsored by the motion picture Fast Five. At least they got rid of the Japanese cars................................

The Pabst Blue Ribbon Pinballer of the Race: This award goes to Martin Truex Jr., for pinballing off of Kasey Kahne and the wall, to create the best fireworks show of the race..............................................

The Grey Goose Vodka Harvey Wallbanger of the Race: I'm giving this award to Marcos Ambrose, for being the 1st to hit the wall. Krikeys!.............

The Schlitz Drunk Driver of the Race: This one goes out to Brian Vickers, for getting a blood clot in the brain and causing the big one.......................

The Blatz Smooth Move Ex-Lax Move of the Race: Once again, this goes to Kevin Harvick, for his smooth move to take the win and leaving the field behind............................................................................

The Pineapple Express Stoner of the Race: This award goes to Brad Keselowski, for getting high and forgetting how to drive, and wrecking Paul Menard...........................................................................

And finally, The Guinness Garage Gang Member of the Race: I didn't see any signs this week, so I'm giving this award to JSW14, because of his cool projects, and because he reads this every week. Thanks J.................

That's it from me, this is Herbie the 3/4 drunk reporter, passing out. ......

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MW's Thoughts From The Deep End -

1. When a couple gets divorced, does a guy get "kicked in the nuptials"?

2. The next time someone says "Hey, you forgot", just smirk at them and say, "nope.... I just didn't remember"

3. Why are there Federal Sexual Harassment guideline posters in strip clubs? I thought THAT was the idea.

4. In Israel when High School is over, are the students grad"JEW"ates??

5. Hey guys....If a stripper does the splits and sticks to the stage, would you ask for your money back?

Re: The Tattler - Martinsville

Fri Apr 08, 2011 2:07 am

Anothah winnah! Thanks for another great read!

Re: The Tattler - Martinsville

Fri Apr 08, 2011 6:00 am

Coffee and the Tattler
That's how to start the day
Thanks ...

Re: The Tattler - Martinsville

Tue Apr 12, 2011 5:24 pm

Awesome.. I love the comb-over... ha ha ha

Re: The Tattler - Martinsville

Tue Apr 12, 2011 7:51 pm

BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




tc

Re: The Tattler - Martinsville

Tue Apr 12, 2011 8:53 pm

U ALL are Awsum!!!!
Smokie wrote >>Rumors are abounding that Jimmie WAS in fact fined, for making statements. Apparently, Jimmie burst into the media center, claiming he'd been "manhandled". Various team members tried to shut him up, before he was whisked away, followed by reporters....and his expression never changed....
Waaaay tooo Funny Smokie.... :lol:

Herbie signs off>>That's it from me, this is Herbie the 3/4 drunk reporter, passing out. What 3/4 drunk? j drops off a case of cold Schlitz long neck bottles at Herbs door-step!!!! :lol: Thx for the award Herbs. :mrgreen:

MW's Thoughts From The Deep End ->>Hmmmmm, j thinks for a min. I don't remember!!! :roll: :lol:

Image To the Tattler for Anothah Great read :D :mrgreen:
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