Tue Mar 29, 2011 8:57 pm
The Tattler - Bristol
Call it "Thunder Valley" ... Call it "The Bull Ring" .... but say hey to Bristol for being 50 years old this season!
CONGRATS To Tony and Team for a 19th place finish.
Gee Tony, you held onto that #14 spot for so long, like you owned the number or something.....
CONGRATS To Ryan and Team for a 10th place finish!
Kyle swept the weekend again, which is cool by itself... but when I found out, that over the 800 miles in both races, he led 420 laps .... that just made it sweet. Cool Kyle.... cool
When Tony smacked Ryan in the rear end, on the track... was that "sexual harassment from the boss? ?"
Jr got a speeding penalty on pit row, ending his day at a great finish. When Jr was asked about running a few of the fastest laps, he replied , "Yeah, we're not sure what happened out there today."
A big invite to members to come into chat during a race... it's so much fun. You get to hear phrases like "car-b-ques" ( car on fire ), learn about Schmoopy's hot dog stand with wrappers .... and watch Herbie toss a beer onto the track and Ryan spots debris ( again ) Come on in and say hello
See you all in Cali... y'all remember to pack the radiation sunscreen and iodine pills.
"California... come and visit... and leave glowing...."
Herbs is late... and if I've told him once, I've told him a 100 times...."Don't let the air out of the Effing tires!"
-----
Thanks Smokie! This is Herbie the better late than never reporter checking in with these top headlines................................................................
Tony Stewart found a way to help Ryan have a higher finish between the 2 by bump-drafting at Bristol during a caution......................................
Danica Patrick got into yet another slap fight last week, this time with Ryan Truex, after the rookie accidentally wrecked her during the race. Once again, fans were disappointed that Danica's top wasn't ripped off. Maybe next time..................................................................................
and now, for this weeks Herbie Awards, sponsored by The Butler Bulldogs. Go Dawgs!........................................................................
The Pabst Blue Ribbon Pinballer of the Race: This award goes to Brad Keselowski, for being the wizard at Bristol.................................
The Grey Goose Vodka Harvey Wallbanger of the Race: This goes to Robby Gordon for being the 1st to hit the wall....................................
The Becks Brake-check of the Race: I'm giving this award to Kasey Kahne for brake-checking during a restart and causing the Big One at Bristol...........
The Blatz Smooth Move Ex-Lax Move of the Race: Once again, this award goes to Kahne for causing the big one. Smooth move ex-lax..................
The Schlitz Drunk Driver of the Race: This one goes to Travis Kvapil, because you have to be drunk to pronounce his last name....................
The Pineapple Express Stoner of the Race: This award goes to Clint Bowyer. That wasn't engine smoke rolling out of his car..................................
And finally, The Guinness Garage Gang Member of the Race: I didn't see any Garage Gang signs, so I'm giving this award to Biff, because I couldn't afford to buy him gifts for all of his birthday's this week. Happy Birthdays butthead!
That's it from here, this is Herbie the staggering reporter, checking out.
--
MW's Thoughts From The Deep End
1. A chicken coop doesn't stink.....it just emits a "FOWL ODOR"
2. Just remember......Crack is ONLY socially accepted if you're a plumber.
3. Any other perverts out there get a good laugh when you see "facials" on the sign at your local spa?
4. Why do they say "love handleS"? Last I checked, I only had ONE.
5. If you have sex STANDING UP....Is it still called "GETTING LAID"?
6. When you have dinner at an Italian restaurant and the food doesn't agree with you......do you get "TRATTORIA"?
----------
Fontana edition, coming soon
CONGRATS To Tony and Team for a 19th place finish.
Gee Tony, you held onto that #14 spot for so long, like you owned the number or something.....CONGRATS To Ryan and Team for a 10th place finish!
Kyle swept the weekend again, which is cool by itself... but when I found out, that over the 800 miles in both races, he led 420 laps .... that just made it sweet. Cool Kyle.... cool
When Tony smacked Ryan in the rear end, on the track... was that "sexual harassment from the boss? ?"
Jr got a speeding penalty on pit row, ending his day at a great finish. When Jr was asked about running a few of the fastest laps, he replied , "Yeah, we're not sure what happened out there today."
A big invite to members to come into chat during a race... it's so much fun. You get to hear phrases like "car-b-ques" ( car on fire ), learn about Schmoopy's hot dog stand with wrappers .... and watch Herbie toss a beer onto the track and Ryan spots debris ( again ) Come on in and say hello
See you all in Cali... y'all remember to pack the radiation sunscreen and iodine pills.
"California... come and visit... and leave glowing...."
Herbs is late... and if I've told him once, I've told him a 100 times...."Don't let the air out of the Effing tires!"
-----
Thanks Smokie! This is Herbie the better late than never reporter checking in with these top headlines................................................................
Tony Stewart found a way to help Ryan have a higher finish between the 2 by bump-drafting at Bristol during a caution......................................
Danica Patrick got into yet another slap fight last week, this time with Ryan Truex, after the rookie accidentally wrecked her during the race. Once again, fans were disappointed that Danica's top wasn't ripped off. Maybe next time..................................................................................
and now, for this weeks Herbie Awards, sponsored by The Butler Bulldogs. Go Dawgs!........................................................................
The Pabst Blue Ribbon Pinballer of the Race: This award goes to Brad Keselowski, for being the wizard at Bristol.................................
The Grey Goose Vodka Harvey Wallbanger of the Race: This goes to Robby Gordon for being the 1st to hit the wall....................................
The Becks Brake-check of the Race: I'm giving this award to Kasey Kahne for brake-checking during a restart and causing the Big One at Bristol...........
The Blatz Smooth Move Ex-Lax Move of the Race: Once again, this award goes to Kahne for causing the big one. Smooth move ex-lax..................
The Schlitz Drunk Driver of the Race: This one goes to Travis Kvapil, because you have to be drunk to pronounce his last name....................
The Pineapple Express Stoner of the Race: This award goes to Clint Bowyer. That wasn't engine smoke rolling out of his car..................................
And finally, The Guinness Garage Gang Member of the Race: I didn't see any Garage Gang signs, so I'm giving this award to Biff, because I couldn't afford to buy him gifts for all of his birthday's this week. Happy Birthdays butthead!
That's it from here, this is Herbie the staggering reporter, checking out.
--
MW's Thoughts From The Deep End
1. A chicken coop doesn't stink.....it just emits a "FOWL ODOR"
2. Just remember......Crack is ONLY socially accepted if you're a plumber.
3. Any other perverts out there get a good laugh when you see "facials" on the sign at your local spa?
4. Why do they say "love handleS"? Last I checked, I only had ONE.
5. If you have sex STANDING UP....Is it still called "GETTING LAID"?
6. When you have dinner at an Italian restaurant and the food doesn't agree with you......do you get "TRATTORIA"?
----------
Fontana edition, coming soon
Smoke 'em if ya got 'em!
Sh*t happens... but don't worry, it usually happens to me.
Sh*t happens... but don't worry, it usually happens to me.
