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Re: The LOL PLace

Wed Feb 05, 2014 1:32 pm

I found this article in The Villages newsletter. The names have been changed to protect the guilt... I mean, innocent. :mrgreen: :twisted:

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is "Jim".
Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, "Carol". When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for "Carol" to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.

Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so eating out is not an option in the evening. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.

I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, Boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the lawn. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I
tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed orange juice and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support "Carol". I'm not saying that showing this much patience & consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your ageing wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.

"Jim" died suddenly on January 31 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches
of grip showing, and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife "Carol" was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that "Jim", somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.

Re: The LOL PLace

Wed Feb 05, 2014 1:54 pm

I loved this post HH. Especially the ending.

Now this for carol.YES You will be forgiven.......by every married woman alive we salute you.........yes, every bit of drama we can shell out.......

Re: The LOL PLace

Wed Feb 05, 2014 1:58 pm

As soon as I read it, I knew what I had to do with it. :lol: I be bad.

I can't wait for the reaction of "certain someones" on here. :P :mrgreen:

Re: The LOL PLace

Wed Feb 05, 2014 2:23 pm

Unfortunate Billboard Placement


Re: The LOL PLace

Thu Feb 06, 2014 10:24 am

OOO Geezzzz-O-Pete H, U realy done Bad this time :lol: :lol: ;) R U sure U don't want to move too The Villages "Men R needed" :lol: :lol: :lol: :roll:

Re: The LOL PLace

Thu Feb 06, 2014 10:30 am

Just for you, j. Just for you... ;) :lol:

Re: The LOL PLace

Wed Feb 12, 2014 6:41 pm

has anyone seen this commercial? I laughed so hard, when I did. This is exactly the kind of stuff that would happen only to me ... and no one would believe me... ha ha ha ha

Re: The LOL PLace

Wed Feb 12, 2014 6:46 pm

here's some more local video that's gone viral... some people think it's pretty funny.

The deal was, the kid on the bike resisted arrest at a train station and fled, so the police had the area cordoned off. Dude comes out of a yard, on a bike and RIGHT past a local news video photographer and you see what happens. Dude in jeans is just a by-stander who jumps in.

The cop is OK, he's one of the best physically fit on the force and yes... played defensive tackle in high school & college. ;-)

Re: The LOL PLace

Thu Mar 13, 2014 10:03 am

I thought this was Funny :lol: :lol: :lol:

Blind Clerk.....

A woman goes into Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.

The clerk was standing behind the counter wearing dark shades.

She says to him, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"

He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes."

She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway......

He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-lb. Test line. It's a good all-around combination, and it's on sale this week for only $20.00."

She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!" As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.

"Oh, that sounds like a Master Card," he says.

She bends down to pick it up and accidentally passes gas.

At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes......there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was her who farted . Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.

The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please."

The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?"

He replies, "Yes, ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00, and the Catfish Bait is $3.50."

She paid it and left without saying a word.

Re: The LOL PLace

Thu Mar 13, 2014 1:26 pm

That did give me a chuckle. ;) :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Re: The LOL PLace

Mon Mar 17, 2014 1:30 pm

decided to take it off
didn't want to offend anyone
my bad peeps
Last edited by Jellikit on Tue Mar 18, 2014 8:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Re: The LOL PLace

Tue Mar 18, 2014 6:44 pm

A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the #### do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a bl@w j@b there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free." The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Re: The LOL PLace

Thu Mar 20, 2014 3:13 am

A boy was teaching a girl arithmetic; he said it was his mission.

He kissed her once, he kissed her twice, and said, "Now that's addition."

In silent satisfaction, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, "Now that's subtraction."

Then he kissed her, she kissed him, without an explanation.

And both together smiled and said, "That's multiplication."

Then her dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision.

He kicked that boy three blocks away and said, "That's long division!"
:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Re: The LOL PLace

Tue Mar 25, 2014 1:23 pm

As a trucker stops at a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you're losing some of your load."
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde's car. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's Winter in Michigan and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"

Re: The LOL PLace

Tue Mar 25, 2014 5:27 pm

In Maine.....
Things don't "cost you" they "runya" ... What'd that runya?
Really expensive things "set ya back" ... Holy jeez bub! What'd that set ya back?
You also never "get an estimate" It's always..."Ok, what are we lookin' at here"....cuz I don't wanna get "set back"
And things don't go badly they "Runamuck"

Comedian Bob Marley
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