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Re: The LOL PLace

Sat Apr 06, 2013 8:14 am

Image
Last edited by HiddenHollow on Wed May 15, 2013 7:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Re: The LOL PLace

Mon Apr 08, 2013 9:59 am

Military

One reason the Military Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don't speak the same language.

For example, if you told Navy personnel to "secure a building," they would turn off the lights and lock the doors.

The Army would occupy the building so no one could enter.

Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat.

The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three year lease with an option to buy.

Re: The LOL PLace

Thu Apr 25, 2013 7:55 am

A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window

The bee said, 'What seems to be the problem?'

'I'm out of gas,' the man replied.

The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out.

'Try it now,' said one bee.

The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up. 'Wow!' the man exclaimed, 'what did you put in my gas tank'?

...............http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=icture+of+bee+peeing&qs=n&form=QBIR&pq=icture+of+bee+peeing&sc=0-14&sp=-1&sk=&&id=5F8CDB6B2E0DBD28437234619DB141283D576BFB&selectedIndex=1#view=detail&id=5F8CDB6B2E0DBD28437234619DB141283D576BFB&selectedIndex=0

http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=picture+of+BP+symbol&id=FCD6C457633039BB9A6E852D0275724C7079EFB3&FORM=IQFRBA#view=detail&id=8DF140CEEE6750686F07C77D55173F4DBFB61A02&selectedIndex=3

Re: The LOL PLace

Thu Apr 25, 2013 9:07 am

Not Right

"Johnny," said the teacher, "if coal is selling at $6 a ton and you pay your dealer $24, how many tons will he bring you?"

"A little over three tons, ma'am," said Johnny.

"Why, Johnny, that isn't right," said the teacher.

"No, ma'am, I know it isn't," said Johnny, "but they all do it."

Re: The LOL PLace

Thu Apr 25, 2013 12:42 pm

Real story told on myself.

Yesterday was cheer squad try-outs for next year. My granddaughter has been cheering since Kindergarten. But, she is not and never has been in the "in crowd." She has always been on the "outside" because her family is blue collar and not in "society."

Unfortunately the cheer couches tend to have their noises a little high as well.

I may need to be exiled to the race tracks. Race etiquette is finding its way into my everyday life.

After the try-outs were over, everyone was trying to exit the gym, but one of the couches was standing in front of the exit door, making it more difficult for people to get out. As I went by, I gave the couch a little bump and rub. Hopefully she got the idea and moved clear of the door.

Well, I thought it was funny and I laughed at myself.

Every one have a good day!

Re: The LOL PLace

Thu Apr 25, 2013 1:11 pm

beaverpond wrote:Military

One reason the Military Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don't speak the same language.

For example, if you told Navy personnel to "secure a building," they would turn off the lights and lock the doors.

The Army would occupy the building so no one could enter.

Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat.

The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three year lease with an option to buy.



Beav ......you don't know how true that is.......gave me a real chuckle! Thanks!

Re: The LOL PLace

Fri May 03, 2013 10:34 am

Image

8-) 8-) 8-)

Re: The LOL PLace

Tue May 07, 2013 8:53 pm

An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back . It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with some picnic tables, a horseshoe court and some peach and apple trees. one evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond , since he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a 5 gallon bucket on the way out the door to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond he heard some voices filled with laughter and glee. As he came closer, he saw that it was a bunch of young women who were skinny dipping in the pond. He gently made the women aware of his presence and the ladies made a quick passage to the deep end of the pond. One of the women shouted "We're not coming out until you leave!!".

The old man frowned,"I didn't come here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.

With that, he held the bucket up and said "I just came down her to feed the alligator...."

Re: The LOL PLace

Sat May 11, 2013 1:35 pm

Beware!!
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Re: The LOL PLace

Sat May 11, 2013 9:12 pm

Image

Re: The LOL PLace

Wed May 15, 2013 5:31 pm

Funny video. Sorry I can't directly imbed it here.

:arrow: http://screen.yahoo.com/adorable-kitten ... 41239.html

Re: The LOL PLace

Thu May 16, 2013 12:21 pm

You have to love DC.
Crazy? I got your crazy!

Re: The LOL PLace

Thu May 23, 2013 4:00 am

Things You Never Say to a Cop

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!

5. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

6. I pay your salary!

7. So, uh, you on the take, or what?

8. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

9. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, good just so one of us does.

3, 4, & 9 I think are my favorites.

Re: The LOL PLace

Fri May 24, 2013 9:32 pm

"I was in a pub on Saturday night. Had a few drinks........

I noticed two large women by the bar. They both had strong accents so I asked "Hey, are you two ladies from Scotland ?"
One of them screamed "It's WALES you IDIOT!"
So, I immediately apologized and said "Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland ?"

That's pretty much all I remember....."

Got this from a retired cop

Re: The LOL PLace

Sun Jun 02, 2013 8:20 pm

NascarNanaOK said:"Just for the record, I'm a Boomer, not a Sooner. The Boomers crossed the starting line at the boom of the cannon. The Sooners jumped the start and cheated to get a head start on the law abiders. My grandfather was an infant, laying in the bed of a wagon when his parents took off on the Land Run."

I pulled up this quote (of myself) from last April, because I just heard something new to me.

I just finished watching a program on our local PBS station, about the history of Moore, OK. The program included the meanings of Boomer and Sooner. The thing about it is that their definitions were just about the opposite of what I remember from 8th grade Oklahoma History.

Just to be fair, there are other meanings out there that differ from mine. LOL
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