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Re: The LOL PLace

Fri May 04, 2012 6:47 pm

jsw14 wrote:After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

He looked at her for a while ... then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

She asks ... "What does that mean?"

He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous and finally Hot.

She smiled happily and said ... "Oh, that's so lovely ... what about I, J, K?"

He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.



Thats so funny j. Thanks for the laugh.

Re: The LOL PLace

Tue May 15, 2012 3:17 am

A tough old cowboy from South Texas counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on his oatmeal every morning.

The grandson did this religiously to the age of 103 when he died.

He left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great- grandchildren, and a 15-foot crater where the crematorium used to be. :shock:

Re: The LOL PLace

Tue May 22, 2012 6:44 am

A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister
smiled and said, "Mark has only 16 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

Re: The LOL PLace

Wed May 23, 2012 5:11 pm

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Re: The LOL PLace

Fri Jun 01, 2012 3:32 pm

FREE KITTENS
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A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on the sidewalk in front of her home.

Next to her was a basket containing a number of tiny creatures; in her hand was a sign announcing

FREE
KITTENS.

Suddenly a line of big black cars pulled up beside her. Out of the lead car stepped a tall, grinning man.

"Hi there little girl, I'm President Obama. What do you have in the basket?" he asked.

"Kittens," little Suzy said.
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"How old are they?" asked Obama.

Suzy replied, "They're so young, their eyes aren't even open yet."

"And what kind of kittens are they?"

"Democrats," answered Suzy with a smile.

Obama was delighted. As soon as he returned to his car, he called his PR chief and told him about the little girl and the kittens.

Recognizing the perfect photo op, the two men agreed that the president should return the next day; And in front of the assembled media, have the girl talk about her discerning kittens.

So the next day, Suzy was again standing on the sidewalk with her basket of

"FREE KITTENS,"

When another motorcade pulled up,

This time followed by vans from ABC, NBC, CBS and CNN. Cameras and audio equipment were quickly set up, then Obama got out of his limo and walked over to little Suzy.

"Hello, again," he said,

I'd love it if you would tell all my friends out there what kind of kittens you're giving away."

"Yes sir," Suzy said. "They're Republicans."

Taken by surprise, the president stammered, "But...but..yesterday, you told me they were DEMOCRATS."

Little Suzy smiled and said, "I know. But today, they have their eyes open."
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Re: The LOL PLace

Thu Jun 07, 2012 12:14 am

Dear Mr. President,
I heard you say you would not guarantee SS checks if the debt ceiling isn't raised...Why is it the scare always has to do with SS, our Soldiers pay, & Medicare??? Why not stop your pay, your staff's pay, or Congress??? Let's hold the pay checks of all House and Senate members and see how fast they resolve this mess.
:roll:

Re: The LOL PLace

Thu Jun 07, 2012 4:34 pm

Mrs B wrote:Dear Mr. President,
I heard you say you would not guarantee SS checks if the debt ceiling isn't raised...Why is it the scare always has to do with SS, our Soldiers pay, & Medicare??? Why not stop your pay, your staff's pay, or Congress??? Let's hold the pay checks of all House and Senate members and see how fast they resolve this mess.
:roll:

Amen. Think Congress should be treated like I do my guys at work.
If they dont want to do their job, fire their ####. Congress should be piece workers, & imagine how many things they would solve in a year.

Re: The LOL PLace

Fri Jun 08, 2012 4:04 am

We recently had a guest speaker at our church. He is from India, part of an organization that our church supports.

Before he started his sermon, he asked if anyone had called any customer support numbers recently. When several people in the congregation raised their hands, he said, "That's good. That means you won't have too much trouble understanding my accent."

Re: The LOL PLace

Fri Jun 08, 2012 4:29 pm

I can relate. Just today I had the experience. It wasn't easy keeping up with the customer service rep. but the phone giving one of it's spazes didn't help. Good part is my problem was solved by myself when I was on hold.

Re: The LOL PLace

Sat Jun 09, 2012 12:43 pm

The Rash
Attachments
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Re: The LOL PLace

Thu Jun 21, 2012 1:52 pm

Hot Enough For Ya....jpg
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Re: The LOL PLace

Fri Jun 22, 2012 7:15 am

Good one, Beaver! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Re: The LOL PLace

Fri Jun 22, 2012 11:12 pm

...I dunno' if this qualifies as LOL...but, it makes me smile... ;) :D

Re: The LOL PLace

Sat Jun 23, 2012 1:04 pm

In my rule book, the duckling qualifies! LOL

Re: The LOL PLace

Thu Jun 28, 2012 5:32 am

A firefighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.

The girl is wearing a firefighter's helmet and has the wagon tied to a dog and cat. The firefighter walks over to take a closer look.

"That sure is a nice fire truck," the firefighter says with admiration.

"Thanks," the little girl says.

The firefighter looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied the wagon to the dog's collar and to the cat's tail.

"Little partner," the firefighter says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."

The little girl replied, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."

Beaver will love that last line :mrgreen:
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