FAQ  •  Register  •  Login

The LOL PLace

<<

14Smokem

User avatar

Posts: 591

8225

Joined: Sun Feb 16, 2014 4:39 pm

Post Sat May 31, 2014 7:29 pm

Re: The LOL PLace

Anniversary Present

Tony Stewart goes searching for a Anniversary Present for his lady, when he goes into a department store and approaches a salesclerk, "I'd like to buy some gloves for my girlfriend," Tony says, eyeing the attractive salesgirl, "but I don't know her size." "Will this help?" she asked sweetly, placing her hand in his.

"Oh, yes," he answers. "Her hands are just slightly smaller that yours." "Will there be anything else?" the sales girl queried as she wrapped the gloves.

"Now that you mention it," he replied, "she also needs a bra and panties."
1994 USAC Midget Champion ** 1995 USAC Midget Champion ** 1995 USAC Sprint Car Champion ** 1995 USAC Silver Crown Champion
1997 Indy Car Champion ** 2006 IROC Champion ** 2002 NASCAR Champion ** 2005 NASCAR Champion ** 2011 NASCAR Champion
<<

Jellikit

Posts: 1565

8000

Joined: Tue Feb 19, 2013 7:13 pm

Location: Alexandria, VA

Post Sat May 31, 2014 9:11 pm

Re: The LOL PLace

14Smokem wrote:Anniversary Present

Tony Stewart goes searching for a Anniversary Present for his lady, when he goes into a department store and approaches a salesclerk, "I'd like to buy some gloves for my girlfriend," Tony says, eyeing the attractive salesgirl, "but I don't know her size." "Will this help?" she asked sweetly, placing her hand in his.

"Oh, yes," he answers. "Her hands are just slightly smaller that yours." "Will there be anything else?" the sales girl queried as she wrapped the gloves.

"Now that you mention it," he replied, "she also needs a bra and panties."

He he he. :lol: :oops: :mrgreen:
<<

justlisa

User avatar

Posts: 882

Images: 0
8558

Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2009 10:52 am

Post Sat May 31, 2014 11:32 pm

Re: The LOL PLace

14Smokem wrote:Anniversary Present

Tony Stewart goes searching for a Anniversary Present for his lady, when he goes into a department store and approaches a salesclerk, "I'd like to buy some gloves for my girlfriend," Tony says, eyeing the attractive salesgirl, "but I don't know her size." "Will this help?" she asked sweetly, placing her hand in his.

"Oh, yes," he answers. "Her hands are just slightly smaller that yours." "Will there be anything else?" the sales girl queried as she wrapped the gloves.

"Now that you mention it," he replied, "she also needs a bra and panties."




I love your lol's
Image
<<

14Smokem

User avatar

Posts: 591

8225

Joined: Sun Feb 16, 2014 4:39 pm

Post Sun Jun 01, 2014 1:08 am

Re: The LOL PLace

Potato

Kasey Kahne was looking to find a woman so Dale Earnhardt Jr decided to help him out.
He told Kasey that the next time he's on the beach to put him a potato in his trunks and the ladies will gather round.

Kasey goes out for 3 straight days with no luck. He's about to leave when he sees Dale Earnhardt Jr and says

" I don't understand, I did what you said and now NO WOMEN will come anywhere near me!"

Dale looks at him and just points and says " The Potato goes in the front :shock:
1994 USAC Midget Champion ** 1995 USAC Midget Champion ** 1995 USAC Sprint Car Champion ** 1995 USAC Silver Crown Champion
1997 Indy Car Champion ** 2006 IROC Champion ** 2002 NASCAR Champion ** 2005 NASCAR Champion ** 2011 NASCAR Champion
<<

14Smokem

User avatar

Posts: 591

8225

Joined: Sun Feb 16, 2014 4:39 pm

Post Mon Jun 02, 2014 2:38 pm

Re: The LOL PLace

Car Accident

Matt Kenseth and a priest get into a car accident and it's a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly, neither are hurt.

They crawl out of their cars and 'Special K' sees the priest's collar and says, "So you're a priest. I'm Matt Kenseth a NASCAR driver. Just look at our cars. There's nothing left but we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God."

"God must have meant that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days." And the priest said, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God.

And Matt Kenseth said, "and look at this. Here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of Blue Nun wine didn't break, surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

The Priest agrees completely, so Matt opened the bottle took 3 big drinks and then handed the bottle to the priest.

The priest said he agreed and took the bottle, didn't drink at all, put the cap on, and handed it back to Special K. Matt asked, "Aren't you going to have any?"

The priest replied, "No....I think I'll just wait for the police."
1994 USAC Midget Champion ** 1995 USAC Midget Champion ** 1995 USAC Sprint Car Champion ** 1995 USAC Silver Crown Champion
1997 Indy Car Champion ** 2006 IROC Champion ** 2002 NASCAR Champion ** 2005 NASCAR Champion ** 2011 NASCAR Champion
<<

14Smokem

User avatar

Posts: 591

8225

Joined: Sun Feb 16, 2014 4:39 pm

Post Mon Jun 02, 2014 2:48 pm

Re: The LOL PLace

Bungee Jumping

Paul Menard and Eric Almirola are bungee-jumping one day. Paul says to Eric, "You know, we really suck as racers but I bet we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico."

Eric thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need - tower, elastic bungee cord, insurance, etc...

They travel to Mexico and begin to set up in the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. After they have everything ready, they decide to give the crowd a demonstration.

Paul jumps and bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, the Eric notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, Eric isn't able to catch him, and Paul falls again, bounces and comes back up again.

This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, Eric misses him. Paul falls again and bounces back up. This time, he comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious.

Luckily, Eric finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?"

Paul says, "No, the cord was fine, but what the he!! is a "pinata?"
1994 USAC Midget Champion ** 1995 USAC Midget Champion ** 1995 USAC Sprint Car Champion ** 1995 USAC Silver Crown Champion
1997 Indy Car Champion ** 2006 IROC Champion ** 2002 NASCAR Champion ** 2005 NASCAR Champion ** 2011 NASCAR Champion
<<

14Smokem

User avatar

Posts: 591

8225

Joined: Sun Feb 16, 2014 4:39 pm

Post Mon Jun 02, 2014 3:36 pm

Re: The LOL PLace

Car Breaks Down

Michael Waltrip's car breaks down on the Interstate, so he eases over onto the shoulder.
He carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk.

Out jump two of his pit crew members in trench coats, who walk to the rear of the vehicle where they stand facing oncoming traffic and begin opening their coats and exposing themselves to approaching drivers, while another two get out of the back seat and begin checking the car.

Not surprisingly, one of the worst pileups occurs.

It's not very long before a police car shows up.

The cop, clearly enraged, runs toward Matt's disabled vehicle yelling, "What the he!! is going on here?"

"My car broke down," says Michael, calmly.

"Well, what are these perverts doing here by the road?" screams the cop.

"These are my emergency flashers!" replied Michael!
1994 USAC Midget Champion ** 1995 USAC Midget Champion ** 1995 USAC Sprint Car Champion ** 1995 USAC Silver Crown Champion
1997 Indy Car Champion ** 2006 IROC Champion ** 2002 NASCAR Champion ** 2005 NASCAR Champion ** 2011 NASCAR Champion
<<

14Smokem

User avatar

Posts: 591

8225

Joined: Sun Feb 16, 2014 4:39 pm

Post Wed Jun 25, 2014 11:33 am

Re: The LOL PLace

Just saw this...... Gotta laughj...... :D :D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sInhzdAmrWk



Image
1994 USAC Midget Champion ** 1995 USAC Midget Champion ** 1995 USAC Sprint Car Champion ** 1995 USAC Silver Crown Champion
1997 Indy Car Champion ** 2006 IROC Champion ** 2002 NASCAR Champion ** 2005 NASCAR Champion ** 2011 NASCAR Champion
<<

Jellikit

Posts: 1565

8000

Joined: Tue Feb 19, 2013 7:13 pm

Location: Alexandria, VA

Post Wed Jul 02, 2014 11:33 pm

Re: The LOL PLace

FRANKLY AUTOCORRECT,
I'M GETTING A BIT
TIRED OF YOUR SHIRT.
<<

14Smokem

User avatar

Posts: 591

8225

Joined: Sun Feb 16, 2014 4:39 pm

Post Tue Jul 08, 2014 12:17 pm

Re: The LOL PLace

I saw this and immediately thought about the Race Day Chat room....
Attachments
debris.jpg
debris.jpg (43.82 KiB) Viewed 1013 times
1994 USAC Midget Champion ** 1995 USAC Midget Champion ** 1995 USAC Sprint Car Champion ** 1995 USAC Silver Crown Champion
1997 Indy Car Champion ** 2006 IROC Champion ** 2002 NASCAR Champion ** 2005 NASCAR Champion ** 2011 NASCAR Champion
<<

jdpirate

User avatar

Posts: 2174

10264

Joined: Tue Feb 05, 2013 6:14 pm

Location: Rochester, NY

Post Tue Jul 08, 2014 12:27 pm

Re: The LOL PLace

:lol: :lol: yep, it fits!
I'm Living my life the way I want to..... Tony Stewart
Never Quit..... Marcus Luttrell Lone Survivor
<<

Jellikit

Posts: 1565

8000

Joined: Tue Feb 19, 2013 7:13 pm

Location: Alexandria, VA

Post Sat Jul 12, 2014 3:16 pm

Re: The LOL PLace

Saw this on FB and thought I'd bring it here...made me laugh. ;)


Image

And this one...from the "real" best player ever.

Image
<<

awsum14

User avatar

Posts: 2807

10983

Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2009 9:28 am

Location: Hopewell,Va

Post Sat Jul 12, 2014 5:59 pm

Re: The LOL PLace

A man received the following text from his neighbor:

I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night, when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.

The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.

A few moments later, a second text came in:

#### autocorrect. I meant "wifi", not "wife".
If at first you don't succeed, don't give up
Try Harder
<<

beaverpond

User avatar

Posts: 4924

Images: 32
10543

Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2011 12:56 am

Location: Bridgton,ME

Post Mon Jul 21, 2014 11:49 am

Re: The LOL PLace

From Comedian Bob Marley


We went to the Yarmouth Clam Festival yesterday. Fried dough, fried clams, fried oreos, french fries and fried bananas. You could check my cholesterol right now with a dipstick. As I was pile driving this "fried festival" down my chute I said "Oh, I'm gonna pay for this!" It's official I'm turning into my mother! BTW....I did "pay for it" that toilet seat owes me nuthin'! I got my money's worth outta that unit! Good times peeps! Happy Monday!
Image
<<

beaverpond

User avatar

Posts: 4924

Images: 32
10543

Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2011 12:56 am

Location: Bridgton,ME

Post Fri Aug 01, 2014 3:31 am

Re: The LOL PLace

A father and son were riding in their truck together one day and the son asked the father, "Dad, how high can you count?"

The father replied, "Well, I don't know, son -- how high can you count?"

The son immediately replied, "One thousand, five hundred, forty-two."

The father said, "Why did you stop?"

The son shrugged his shoulders and said, "Well, church was over."
Image
PreviousNext

Return to The Lobby

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests

stewart haas logo footer



Terms of Use  |  Site Map  |  Privacy Policy  |  FAQ  |  Contact Us
COPYRIGHT © STEWART-HAAS RACING, LLC. All rights reserved.
Do not duplicate or redistribute in any form.
Approved by Tony Stewart & Gene Haas
PLEASE REPORT ANY PROBLEMS OR COMMENTS TO THE WEBMASTER