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The LOL PLace

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The Chef

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Post Tue Apr 08, 2014 1:06 pm

Re: The LOL PLace

...and here I was going to say "your grandmother" because she would mix them with oatmeal and raisins and say it is healthy cookie, but your mother will always say otherwise. But I am older and wiser, so what does she know.

Mind you my mother is a lousy cook and her mother, my grandmother, was a chef. Somebody want to explain this one to me. My grandmother and great grandmother are and were awesome in the kitchen. My father and Uncle are also terrific in the kitchen. I am still trying to figure out what happened to my mother. Whenever my mother threatens to cook, we say "Oh please Mom, please let us order out...we don't want to go on a hunger strike...we don't want to starve tonight" :cry:
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beaverpond

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Post Tue Apr 08, 2014 1:08 pm

Re: The LOL PLace

Yup, I see nothing has changed...that sounds like my sister :twisted:
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The Nascar Sprint Cup Champion For 2014 Is...
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beaverpond

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Post Fri Apr 11, 2014 3:21 am

Re: The LOL PLace

A young couple came into the church office to fill out a pre-marriage questionnaire form. The young man, who had never talked to a pastor before, was quite nervous and the pastor tried to put him at ease.

When they came to the question, "Are you entering this marriage of your own free will?" there was a long pause. Finally, the girl looked over at the apprehensive young man and said, "Put down yes!"
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The Nascar Sprint Cup Champion For 2014 Is...
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jsw14

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Post Mon Apr 21, 2014 7:16 pm

Re: The LOL PLace

Woman & Weight Loss :roll: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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BS & Brilliance only come with Age & Experience!!
Image "Fight For Four" - Annalee, March 27, 2012
Image "STAND UP FOR TONY & SHR"
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jsw14

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Post Wed Apr 30, 2014 8:50 am

Re: The LOL PLace

Have U ever wondered what Disease a Ham had before it became a "Cured Ham" :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :mrgreen:
BS & Brilliance only come with Age & Experience!!
Image "Fight For Four" - Annalee, March 27, 2012
Image "STAND UP FOR TONY & SHR"
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Jellikit

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Post Wed May 07, 2014 10:46 pm

Re: The LOL PLace

Image
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smokieonefour

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Post Fri May 09, 2014 5:28 pm

Re: The LOL PLace

A couple of funny cat videos :-)






Smoke 'em if ya got 'em!

Sh*t happens... but don't worry, it usually happens to me.
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smokieonefour

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Post Tue May 20, 2014 2:47 pm

Re: The LOL PLace

Image
Smoke 'em if ya got 'em!

Sh*t happens... but don't worry, it usually happens to me.
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14Smokem

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Post Tue May 20, 2014 3:19 pm

Re: The LOL PLace

A DEA agent stops at a ranch in Texas and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher points and says, "Okay, but do not go in that field over there."

The DEA agent verbally explodes: "Mister, I have the authority of the federal government behind me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher. "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish ... on any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?"

The rancher nods politely, apologizes and goes about his chores. A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA agent running for his life while being chased by the rancher's prize bull.

With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get "horned" before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified. The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs:

"Your badge! Show him your BADGE!"
1994 USAC Midget Champion ** 1995 USAC Midget Champion ** 1995 USAC Sprint Car Champion ** 1995 USAC Silver Crown Champion
1997 Indy Car Champion ** 2006 IROC Champion ** 2002 NASCAR Champion ** 2005 NASCAR Champion ** 2011 NASCAR Champion
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14Smokem

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Post Fri May 23, 2014 3:02 pm

Re: The LOL PLace

:D :D

Stolen from a friends page....

For my Racing friends

A young Native American woman went to a doctor for her first ever physical exam. After checking all of her vitals and running the usual tests, the doctor said, "Well, Running Doe, you are in fine health. I could find no problems. I did notice one abnormality however."

"Oh, what is that, Doctor?"

"Well, you have no nipples."

"None of the people in my tribe have nipples," She replied.

"That is amazing," said the doctor."I'd like to write this up for The Montana Journal of Medicine if you don't mind.

She said, "OK."

"First of all" asked the doctor, "how many people are in your tribe?"

She answered, "Approximately 500."

"And what is the name of your tribe?" Asked the doctor.

Running Doe replied, "We're called



"The Indiannippleless Five Hundred"
1994 USAC Midget Champion ** 1995 USAC Midget Champion ** 1995 USAC Sprint Car Champion ** 1995 USAC Silver Crown Champion
1997 Indy Car Champion ** 2006 IROC Champion ** 2002 NASCAR Champion ** 2005 NASCAR Champion ** 2011 NASCAR Champion
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14Smokem

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Post Tue May 27, 2014 11:52 am

Re: The LOL PLace

Question: What do you call 1,000 Restrictor plates at the bottom of the ocean?

Answer: A Good Start.
1994 USAC Midget Champion ** 1995 USAC Midget Champion ** 1995 USAC Sprint Car Champion ** 1995 USAC Silver Crown Champion
1997 Indy Car Champion ** 2006 IROC Champion ** 2002 NASCAR Champion ** 2005 NASCAR Champion ** 2011 NASCAR Champion
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14Smokem

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Post Tue May 27, 2014 12:21 pm

Re: The LOL PLace

Roger Penske

A Mechanic is standing outside the garage as Roger Penske is coming in
to check out the new Taurus, and can't help but notice that Mr. Penske
has a Dog under each arm.

The Mechanic waves and says, "Welcome back, Roger, Nice dogs, sir."

Penske smiles and says, "These aren't dogs. These are genuine Labrador Retrievers.

I got this one for Rusty, and I got this one for Jeremy."

The mechanic says,

"Good trade, sir."
1994 USAC Midget Champion ** 1995 USAC Midget Champion ** 1995 USAC Sprint Car Champion ** 1995 USAC Silver Crown Champion
1997 Indy Car Champion ** 2006 IROC Champion ** 2002 NASCAR Champion ** 2005 NASCAR Champion ** 2011 NASCAR Champion
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14Smokem

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Post Wed May 28, 2014 1:06 am

Re: The LOL PLace

Drivers Lounge

Jimmie Johnson was just sitting in the Drivers Lounge chatting with Dale Earnhardt Jr, drinking his Diet Mountain Dew and minding his own business when all of a sudden Kyle Busch comes in and WHACK!! knocks him off the stool and onto the floor.

Rowdy Busch says, "That was a karate chop from Korea." Superman thinks "GEEZ,what the #### has gotten into Kyle" but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden WHACK!! Kyle knocks him down AGAIN, and says, "That was a judo chop from Japan."

So the "Five Time Champ" has had enough of this... He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves. Jimmie is gone for about an hour when he returns. Without saying a word, he walks up behind Kyle Busch and Wham! Knocks the daylights out of Little Busch, leaving him out cold!

The Champ looks at Dale Earnhardt Jr and says, "When he comes to, tell him that's 'Crowbar from Lowe's'."
1994 USAC Midget Champion ** 1995 USAC Midget Champion ** 1995 USAC Sprint Car Champion ** 1995 USAC Silver Crown Champion
1997 Indy Car Champion ** 2006 IROC Champion ** 2002 NASCAR Champion ** 2005 NASCAR Champion ** 2011 NASCAR Champion
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14Smokem

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Posts: 560

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Joined: Sun Feb 16, 2014 4:39 pm

Post Thu May 29, 2014 1:23 am

Re: The LOL PLace

Posted with a tiny bit of trepidation.....

Child Welfare A ten-year old boy was at the center of a Maricopa County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her.

When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the Child Welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to Danica Patrick, whom the boy firmly believes is not capable of beating anyone."
1994 USAC Midget Champion ** 1995 USAC Midget Champion ** 1995 USAC Sprint Car Champion ** 1995 USAC Silver Crown Champion
1997 Indy Car Champion ** 2006 IROC Champion ** 2002 NASCAR Champion ** 2005 NASCAR Champion ** 2011 NASCAR Champion
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beaverpond

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Location: Bridgton,ME

Post Fri May 30, 2014 3:08 am

Re: The LOL PLace

I was inspecting communications facilities in Alaska. Since I had little experience flying in small planes, I was nervous when we approached a landing strip in a snow-covered area. The pilot descended to just a couple hundred feet, then gunned both engines, climbed, and circled back. While my heart pounded, the passenger beside me seemed calm.

"I wonder why he didn't land," I said.

"He was checking to see if the landing strip was plowed," the man said.

As we made a second approach, I glanced out the window. "It looks plowed to me," I commented.

"No," my seatmate said. "It hasn't been cleared for some time."

"How can you tell?"

"Because," the man informed me, "I'm the guy who drives the plow."
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The Nascar Sprint Cup Champion For 2014 Is...
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