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advise needed

Thu Jul 21, 2011 2:20 am

The lil woman and me have a cat. The best #### cat ever in the history of the world. His name is Tommy and he is pretty sick. About a month ago he seemed a lil off, so we took him to the vet. The vet said Tommy is suffering from conjestive heart failure. She said his heart is not beating, it's basically just twitching around in there. She gave us all kinds of meds to try to make him more comfortable in his last days. They seemed to work for a lil while, but he hasn't been eating much for the last week so he hasn't been getting his pills. The woman has had Tommy for about 16 years and I swear she loves him more than she loves her son (if you ever met her kid you would understand lol) Anyway she don't wanna take him back to the vet because she knows they will put him down. He hasn't eaten much in the last week, and he is just getting sicker and sicker. The poor lil fella is on deaths door, and there is nothing we can do for him. He was such a great cat, and it is making me sick to see him suffer. So my question to you is this....... A few years ago my brothers cat found a tylanol that was dropped and never picked up. The cat ate the tylanol and w/in 24 hours was dead. When Tylanol is digested by a cat (I don't know if it has the same effect in dogs) it has a reaction w/ their blood and the blood thickens making it impossible for the heart to pump it. I know my brothers cat suffered a lil bit but only for a day, Tommy is already suffering for over a week. I wanna put him out of his misery, w/out her knowing. Since she refuses to take him to the vet my hands are tied I don't know what else to do. What do you all think I should do? should I sneak him a tylanol? Should I just let him suffer? Should I wait for her to go to work and sneak him to the vet? I don't know what to do, but I don't wanna see him suffer any more.

Re: advise needed

Thu Jul 21, 2011 2:26 am

I am so sorry Cs. its such a gut wrenching decision. I would call Creature Comforts and get there advice. They are the best in the area, and from there try and make a decision. I hate to see any animal suffer, but I can understand also not wanting to let go. I wish I could be more help. Lots of prayers for you both and i will keep you both close to my heart, Lisa

Re: advise needed

Thu Jul 21, 2011 7:04 pm

I know exactly how you feel Cs. On the 4th of July weekend I had to have one of my cats put to sleep. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Mister had been a very large cat, big boned, long and tall. He used to weigh 17 pounds without being fat. He started losing weight very gradually and the diagnosis was congestive heart failure. I couldn't stand the thought of putting him down but the longer I waited the more miserable he became. Towards the end, he just stayed in the kitchen, not having the energy nor will to move about much. It broke my heart but I finally took him in and had him put to sleep. I didn't think I'd be able to forgive myself but now when I feel sad, I remember him when he was well and full of energy, when he and my other cat Punky used to chase each other the length of the house, first Punky chasing Mister and then Mister chasing Punky back the other way.

I understand how your wife feels, that's a very hard call to make. I don't know about the tylenol thing, but I admire you for wanting to make it easier on her. There's no easy answer here, but I think the best thing would be for you to somehow convince her that taking him to the vet is what's best for him. There's a lot to be said for "quality of life", but that's just how I feel.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your wife.


Re: advise needed

Thu Jul 21, 2011 7:41 pm

The only thing i can tell you Cs is what the vet told me years back when i had to put our 14yr.old Sheppard down due to cancer. Don't know your little woman,but the vet told me some people are selfish for themselves and think more of the loss than they do the animals well being.Will say it wasn't easy,but i couldn't stand seeing our dog suffer knowing we were still going to lose her anyways.Don't know exactly what effect tylenol will do far as suffering,but i see where you're going with it.Wish i could give you the answer Cs,don't know if trying to convince her again would work,like i say,the vet told me his point of view back then and i bought into it.He was right,it just sucks any way you look at it. Sorry you're in this positon.

Re: advise needed

Thu Jul 21, 2011 8:00 pm

I am so sorry you and your wife are going through this. The thought of losing a family member, whether it be human or pet is unbearable. The only time I have had to have an animal put down was my horse back in 2008. She was 28 years old and it was becoming increasingly more difficult for her to stand and move. I had her cremated and I will be totally honest with you, I intended to bury her ashes, yet I cannot bring myself to do so. As I sit here I cry just thinking about her and her sweet spirit.

I currently have 3 dogs and 2 horses. I have lost 2 dogs in the past but did not have to put either of them down(long stories, both). 2 of my dogs are 17 years old and neither can see or hear but they are still getting around OK for now. But I will tell you this: When it comes to my sweet furry family members, I will be able to let them go if they are suffering. I will be the one who makes the hard decision and while it will break my heart I will do so because it is my responsibility. It will be done out of my love and respect for them. My advice to you though is to not do this behind your wife's back. Help her understand, my heart goes out to you my friend.

Re: advise needed

Thu Jul 21, 2011 10:05 pm

I am sorry that you and your wife are going thru this difficult time. I have had to put down two dogs. It was never easy but the shots the vet gives them allows them to slip away. I held both of them in my arms and yes it was very painful but I wanted them to know I was there. Please don't give the cat Tylenol. Your cat might not have the same reaction and it could make matters worse.

Explain to your wife that having congestive heart failure is very difficult on the your cat and to have him put down is the proper thing to do at this point. There comes a time when we know the time is right. It sounds like that time is now. It is not right to let them suffer.

My heart aches for you. I hope you can come to a decision soon and I hope it is the right one.

Re: advise needed

Thu Jul 21, 2011 10:49 pm

I love cats dearly. I lost 2 to kidney failure. I didn't know what was wrong until it was bad with the first cat. He lived 16 yrs. I can see a dead cat along the road & will get tears in my eyes & it's not even my cat.

The second cat we caught it early & used IV therapy for 2 yrs to help flush his kidneys. He lived to be 18. Near the end, he was real bad. It makes them so sick, I was giving him nausea pills the vet prescribed. He got down to 4 pounds before he was so weak he couldn't stand up. I had to have my husband take him to the vet before work to have him put to sleep, I couldn not bring myself to do it, not with any cat we've ever owned. I felt if I don't it, I would be the murder of my own cat, even though I knew it was just a matter of hrs before he died on his own. I still get tears thinking about my cats (as am now thinking about them). Like your wife, my cats were my kids. I had them before I even had kids of my own. So the losee of them was just like a loss of a family member.

The only right thing to do is take the cat to the vet to be put to sleep so he doesn't suffer any more, you don't want to make it worse on him by giving him Tylenol or such. A heart attach will hurt him worse than a going to sleep shot. Your wife will be mad for a little while, but she'll come around & see that it was best.

I feel for your wife because I understand how she feels.

Re: advise needed

Thu Jul 21, 2011 11:11 pm

Hey CS....soooo sorry for your predicament. I went through the same thing awhile ago. We struggled with it for awhile but, knew it had to be done. We just couldn't stand the fact of losing our cat but what was even tougher to deal with was the fact that we both knew we were being selfish and not thinking of "Buddy" and all the suffering he was going through. We had him put to sleep and had him cremated. I bought some urns for his ashes. We have 1 urn on the TV, and the other 2 are the size you can hang on a chain and wear around your neck...Best of luck with your decision, and PLEASE ,for the cat's sake, do the right thing. Its gonna hurt for awhile, but, the cat needs the both of you to be strong. In my case, my chest hurt for about 6 months. It got better as time went by and I don't wish it on ANYONE........just hang tough and it'll be okay.

Re: advise needed

Fri Jul 22, 2011 12:57 am

This is going to sound harsh, but if your wife can't put a suffering animal ahead of herself, she shouldn't own a pet. Doc said it best, the cat needs to be put down humanely out of love and respect and responsibility for it. Humans, we have choices. Animals are at the mercy of their owners. Do the deed. If your wife has an ounce of rationality about her, she already knows it's the right thing to do, and she'll forgive you. i know the pain you're both feeling, but you have to end the suffering.

and when it's time for this decision to be made about any of my seven cats, feel free to remind me of my words when i'm anguishing over it.

Re: advise needed

Fri Jul 22, 2011 4:48 am

CS,,,,your question is gut wrenching.

I put down a 16 yr old cat, to end his suffering. One of the hardest thing I ever did in this world, was to touch him, as he looked at me, purring and died. The next cat, his life long buddy, I let "die at home peacefully." ... and trust me, is that, ever a contradiction in terms. The first cat went so quickly with no suffering... while I watched a an elder cat gasp for her last breaths. I can't tell you or your woman which way to go..... just .... follow your hearts in the matter. Whether you did it right or wrong.... at least you followed you heart.... and that, my friend... is never wrong. :-)

Best wishes for both of you in the grieving process, what ever happens.

Re: advise needed

Fri Jul 22, 2011 6:15 pm

Forget the tylenol as you could possibly cause more suffering than the cat is already experiencing.
If your wife flatly refuses, then wait until she leaves for work and take the cat to the vet to have him put to sleep. You could just tell her that he died after she left if you feel you have to do it that way.
I had to put my cat and my last dog down and it was the hardest thing in the world for me. I guarantee the vet hadn't had anyone that cried any harder than I did, but I know it was the right thing to do.
As my vet said to me.....sometimes the most humane and caring thing to do is the hardest thing for us to do.
Good luck!

Re: advise needed

Sat Jul 23, 2011 2:06 am

Well I was finally able to talk the woman into taking Tommy to the vet to have him put down. We talked about it and I convinced her that it would be the best thing for Tommy. It was kinda hard because she was so hopefull that he would pull through and be ok. If Tommy ate anything she thought he was going to get better, if Tommy purred when she pet him, if Tommy begged for food (LOL I taught him that lol), if Tommy wanted to go outside, any thing he did that he did when he was healthy she took as a ray of hope. Yesterday He was so weak though that he could no longer walk. He just kinda laid in the same spot all day. We were able to get him to eat a lil bit and he drank tons of water. I called her from work cause I was worried about the fluffy lil ####, and I was scared to death that he would go when I was at work almost two hours away, and I would not be able to comfort her. It was during that phone conversation that I was able to talk her into taking him to the vet. I explained to her that Tommy is suffering, and he was such a great cat that he didn't deserve to suffer. I reminded her that we agreed to give him the pills and do whatever it took to make him as comfortable as we could for his last days, and told her that Tommy is not very comfortable right now. She called the vet to set up an appt. and when I got home from work at 1:30 a.m. we dug a hole in a peacefull spot in our back yard underneath a big shade tree Tommy used to curl up under. I was waiting for the security guards of our development to show up w/ guns drawn, cause lets face it digging a hole at 2:00 a.m. using car headlights is a lil suspicious lol. Anyway we dug the hole and we both took a quick shower. It wasn't long after she got out of the shower Tommy started to cry. Each meow was weaker than the last. We went to check on him and he passed away in her arms. It was pretty painfull watching him take his last breaths. She took it pretty hard. Loretta is 52 y/o but in her 52 years she has only ever lost one person that she was close to (her mom) so she has never really expierienced death. She was crying and holding Tommy as tight as she could. She sat there sobing rocking his poor lifeless body for about 30 minutes. My heart was breaking because I loved Tommy, but also because she was so crushed. I have never been much good at expressing my sorrow, and I've never been good at consuling a person in greif. When she calmed down she cut a big fluff of hair off his tail, and wrapped a piece of tape around one end, so that she could keep a piece of him. we wrapped him in a blanket, put him into a plastic tote, and I took him out and buried him. It was hard, I put the box into the hole we had dug a lil while before and sat there in the grass just looking down at it for about 20 minutes. It was a very tough night, and we both knew it was coming. If not last night today at the vets. It was still hard.

Tommy was the greatest cat ever in the history of the world. All you other cat owners might think yours is the best, but your wrong Tommy was lol. He had the coolest personality. Just this go w/ the flow attitude. I'll never forget my daughter Kirsten loved Tommy when she was little. One day she was out just carrying Tommy around the house. One time she'd have Tommy over her shoulder, the next she would be holding him like a baby, and then the next she would have him tucked under her arm like a football. Tommy would just hang there, you could see in his eyes he was annoyed as ####. His eyes said "OMG get me the #### away from her!!!", but Tommy just would let her do whatever w/ him, Never growled hissed or even tried to get away.

Tommy used to go the the neighbors house and her 4 year old called him "Fluffy", and dressed Tommy in doll clothes and she's push him around in her stroller. He was so compacent, I always said he was like an action figure. You could do anything you wanted to him and he'd just roll w/ it.

He was just awesome. I loved the way he used to run at high speed on our hardwood floors but not go anywhere for a few seconds (kinda like Scooby Doo in the cartoons) he'd take off up the steps and jump on the railing in our loft, like all w/in seconds. The sad thing is he was doing that right up unto just about a month and a half or so ago.

The crazy cat loved pasta sauce. One time he got into the garbage and stuck his head into a sauce jar to lick all the sauce out lol his little white fluffy head was stained orange for a week lol

He loved to lay onto everything that ever came into the house, everything was for him. He loved to lie on my drawing book while I was drawing. One night I was working on a painting. I got up to go to the bathroom I came back to Tommy laying right in the middle of my painting. He had stepped in some wet paint and left lil orange pawprints across the painting. I guess I should have been ####, but I couldn't help but laugh.

I'm gonna miss the lil fluff ball. Thank you all for your prayers and your advise. Some of you braught tears to my eyes w/ your stories. I'm glad Tommy is in a better place, and he is no longer suffering

Rest In Peace Tommy. We love you. We will miss you always

Re: advise needed

Sat Jul 23, 2011 2:16 am

Talk about tears, after reading this I feel like he was my cat too :cry: . I am so sorry for your loss, but I am happy your wife was with him when he passed. He proly felt at peace in her arms. Its so hard to loose an animal and unless you loved one its hard to understand. Much love from my house to yours, Lisa

Re: advise needed

Sat Jul 23, 2011 8:20 am

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
He sounds like some of my black cat Baby use to be. He'd let you hold him any which way too, just went with whatever. He use to chase flies that got in the house & he'd get wild at it sometimes. He loved to have his belly petted, he'd stretch out on the floor on his back stretched out as long as he could get, then the tips of his front paws would curl & uncurl as you petted him.

The cat I have now, good lord if you try to hold him. He's not a hold me cat.......I still miss that. But he will curl up beside you instead. He only wants his belly pettet when he wants it & it's a short few strokes & he's done. But when he wants this one kind of play, it's cute. He get in his "wild cat" moods & will attack the corner of the kitchen chair or his cat perch. He gets wide eyes, lays his ears back & gives a few twitches & holds his head cocked to one side & waits for me to says "Wild meow.....wow wow" in a certain way & he's start play chewing the corner of the chair or perch. Then look at me like say it again & I do, then he goes wild at it again. He'll want me to say it again & he'll jump up like a bat out of you know where & just fly around the house ZOOM there he goes......ZOOM here he comes.......Zoome there goes.......Zoom here he comes to the chair again to rest. Sometimes he wants it again, other times not.

Each cat is special in their own way & no matter how different one is to another, you'll always love each cat you own.

Sorry for your loss, can't help but cry with ya.

Re: advise needed

Sat Jul 23, 2011 8:50 am

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

I still get blurry eyed when I read this...............
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